Friday, January 14, 2011

New year, new blog

After thinking it over for some time, I decided to make a single, simple resolution for 2011:

Act.

Yes, I realize the irony of taking this long to make the resolution to act, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. The thing is, for years and years, I have fallen into things, one after another. I've had tons of great opportunities and wonderful experiences. I have learned a lot. A LOT. My M.O. was to just say yes. I have looked forward to the payoff of all of this work, all the learning curves mastered (or at least, well, learned), all the skills built and connections made. But the truth is, I didn't stop all that often to think about what I wanted, and to notice whether the choices I was making were leading to some ultimate goal.

I have years of journals that circle back to one major theme: the idea that I am waiting for an invitation. From who? For what? Well, I suppose an invitation to do the things I want to do, to live the life I want to live. And of course I know that the only person who can issue that invitation is me.

And yet.

When I was in my 20s, my mom gave me a book called "I Could Do Anything if Only I Knew What It Was," and after much resistance and skepticism, I read that book (on a plane) like my life depended on it, like here was the answer. But the truth is. I knew what "It" was, I've always known. It's just far more terrifying to ask whether you can in fact do anything when the thing you want to do really matters to you. This is not a new story. I just read all about it in Oprah not too long ago, and that was only the latest iteration. I know, I know: Oprah. Yes, I hear myself. I think (and this is a miracle) that I may be starting to care a bit less about what others think. I may be too old to go chasing down each and every opportunity that I know damn well does not lead to that "ultimate goal." At the same time, I think I'm wise enough to know that my "ultimate goal" is still pretty vague and I will probably open a lot of wrong doors as I try to refine it. Is anyone still with me, through the cliches and the Oprah?

Okay, then. Let me be clear. I have always loved to do two things: decorate, and write.

So I'm doing more of both. In fact, I'm bringing together these two loves in a new blog. I made this decision a week ago, and then faced many setbacks in naming the thing, designing it, etc, all the while boiling over with content. So you know what? It isn't designed at all. Literally. No background, no color scheme (okay, there's a little bit of orange), no pretty patterns. That will come later. I know what I want it to look like, but the technology? Well, learning curve. I hope that some of you will read that blog as well as this one. I hope you will follow it, even. I feel that the growing split in content here on Clio Confidential has been a major struggle, and I feel relieved to put the design content somewhere else, to let this remain more of a parenting blog and, really, the family document that I started it to be. There may be kinks along the way, but I bet I can figure them out. Go ahead and share your thoughts with me, I'd love to hear from you.

So head on over to Love Your Space and read my first post: Let Them Eat Cake. It may not be the perfect "first" post, but you gotta start somewhere.

1 comment:

Rebecca Lang said...

Way to go, Heather! I'll be reading.