The L Word

I consider ours an affectionate household. We hug, we squeeze, we smooch, we pat each other on the butt. I feel proud that Dave and I show these displays of affection publicly, in front of our kids, much the way my parents did (and still do.)



But that's all physical. When it comes to the L word, we're a bit more reticent.

I remember when Clio was about 18 months old, a friend posted a video on her blog of her similar-aged toddler saying "I love you" to all the people in her family. It was adorable. It was a revelation: I wasn't quite sure I had actually said those words directly to my daughter. If I had, it was not often enough that Clio herself might pick up the phrase. And it seemed odd to me that I would be so shy about expressing my profound love in words, when language is where I have always excelled. I did start saying it, though haltingly. We're just not I Love You-ers; we know plenty of couples who say it every time they call one another, and definitely when signing off. This is lovely; it's just not our way. We don't need to say it before we go to bed each night, or sending each other off into the world each morning; I'm fairly certain we have even gone off on solo trips to other parts of the world without uttering those words in parting. If I stop to think about it, I guess it would be nice if we said it more, not from rote, but to verbalize that thing that is between us all, to pin down the ether.

Well, Clio to the rescue. Out of nowhere, Clio has become an I Love You-er. She says it all the time, sometimes out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason, but much more often she gets it exactly right: in acknowledgment of a moment of particular emotion; when someone has been particularly generous or helpful; and, my favorite, in the stillness between one activity and another, when it can just grab you around the heart and squeeze. She also likes to keep it going for a while. "I love you, Mommy," she'll say, and when I say "I love you too, baby," she says it back to me: "I love you too, baby."


It is often said that you learn from your children; I love that it starts so soon, and that Clio has started right in with such a big--and simple--thing.

Clio, I love you too, baby.